One recent sunny Saturday morning we went to our corner coffeeshop for a quick bite and then to the garage to get the car for our weekend drive to Connecticut.
My fair-skinned husband put the convertible top down and following doctor’s orders, rubbed sunscreen on his face. Noticing he had missed a dab on his earlobe I reached over and rubbed it in for him.
We pulled out of the garage and as he drove I found myself scrutinizing my husband’s profile, as wives in passenger seats are prone to do.
Then I noticed another white blob on his shirt collar. I stared at that blob wondering what it was. It seems I completely forgot that minutes before I had ministered to a dab of suntan lotion on his ear.
Rather, I remembered that at the coffeeshop he’d complained there was too much mayo in his egg salad. Now I assumed a drop of that egg salad had gotten on his collar.
There were no tissues handy so I swiped at the white blob with a finger and then put the finger in my mouth. Of course it wasn’t egg salad but another stray bit of sunscreen, and it was bitter!
I grabbed the Coppertone tube and read the dire warning – FOR EXTERNAL USE ONLY, DO NOT INGEST.
“I’ve just poisoned myself, drive me straight to the hospital, I have to have my stomach pumped!”, I cried to my husband in mounting panic.
“Calm down, take out your phone and call Coppertone.”, said my level-headed husband.
Sure enough beneath the dire warning on the sunscreen tube was a toll-free customer service number.
The Coppertone rep listened to my tale and asked some pertinent questions – my age and relative health, what meds I take, and how much suntan lotion I have ingested.
“Not to worry.”, he said after hearing it was just a dab.
I thanked him and added somewhat sheepishly, “I’m sorry if my story sounded a bit crazy, but believe me it was all true!”
“Oh, I believe you lady”, he said, “you can’t make this stuff up.”
I didn’t tell him it would soon be on my blog.
Dana Susan Lehrman